I Did Not Go To Church Today

Said little Peggy Ann McKay (apologies to Shel Silverstein's poetry). I wasn't sick or tired or even sick and tired. I was up very early taking the daughter and fiance to the airport on the first leg of their visit to our son. We got back in enough time for me to have run around like a chicken with no head and get myself to church. But I didn't do it. Lazy? Maybe. But as my spouse and I sat eating breakfast, reading the paper and listening to NPR it felt like the right thing to do. Church is the right thing for me to do on Sunday mornings most of the time. I like going, seeing my family in Christ. I miss them when I don't see them for a week. I ponder my actions of the week before while I'm there. I listen a little more earnestly to my fellow humans. I find out is someone is suddenly sick, or has passed away. My church life is an infusion each week for my battered and weary soul. A balm. It's those other weeks though. When I have had some serious misgivings or some face slapping revelation that I sit back or in many cases after the alarm goes off, lie down without attending. I have been admonished that this is precisely the time I need to go and hear the word of God. And maybe they are right, those admonishers! But there are times when I have to digest the word, not just swallow it whole. When I have to think on the things which have brought me to a stand still. When I have to rely on the still, small voice, echoing in my head and not the voice in the pew or the pulpit even to make sense of my faith. And when that happens, it feels more holy to stay home and ponder, read the bible or other inspirational tomes, to pray more earnestly or even to just sit in silence as God is aware what's going on in my head anyway. Am I suggesting that going to church isn't necessary? No. The community of Christ is what leads me to a fuller and richer communication with God. They help me to understand the depth and breadth of God's love and mercy. But I don't feel like I have to explain myself if I don't go. And really, I think God gets it. So I will see you next week, I hope. Unless you need some time off. In which case I will see you soon. Take care until then.