Taking a Vacation

I was away from home recently. I was with family and it was a good thing. A restful, albeit, hot and humid thing. One of the practices that I do when I'm away is to bring one of my devotional books and read in the early morning hours before everyone is going every which way. But this year, I forgot to bring a book! It's the first time that I didn't have something to read and think about each day. I could get my e-mail sporadically, so that daily devotional thing which pops up in my inbox, didn't get to me either.

And so I got lazy. I didn't sit and ponder and pray first thing in the morning as I usually do. I have my phone set for a specific time to ring every day to remind me to pray with my prayer partner. But I found myself, hitting the phone reminder off and continuing to do the things I normally do, without stopping to pray or even meditate. And you know what? The world didn't end. People didn't suddenly vanish from the earth because of my lack of discipline. But I did find something out. When my day is not bracketed by prayer, it feels like I left something out. It seems to be unfinished. I almost always fell into bed tired from the days activities, but it was like I forgot to say "good night" to my children when they were small. The days didn't feel completed. It didn't occur to me until the next to last night we were away, that the reason for my dis-ease was because I hadn't listened to the Lord. And I hadn't talked to him either. About anything. No, I take that back. I did a hundred small thank yous within the week for the blue sky, the warm sand, the cooling water, the laughter of family. But I didn't do the protracted prayer I usually do. I didn't intercede for anyone or anything. I was totally selfish.

In earlier days, I would have come home and beat myself up for this lack of discipline. But I'm cutting myself some slack this time. God is aware of my shortcoming and my strengths. God is abundantly aware of my frailties and my humble gifts. He is not going to strike anything or anyone down because I let him down in my practices of prayer. I think he missed me. I know I missed him.

So I'm home now. My alarm on my phone went off to remind me to pray with my partner today and I did indeed say a quick prayer, thanking God for his gracious goodness in my life and blessing me and my family. Then I picked up a book and began to read the next chapter, knowing that I'll return to the discipline of my former vacation days on Monday. Thank God we have a savior who understands and doesn't take a vacation.