All Saints Day

So tomorrow at church we will observe All Saints Day. It is a day to remember the saints who have marched on to the "heavenly places" specifically over the past year and generically over the course of our lives. It's meant to be a somber day, but not necessarily a depressing day. We look back at the last year and suddenly realize those faces that once we met week after week are no longer there. We glimpse a widow who last year was a wife/widower who last year was a husband. Time marches forward; we all know this. But I for one will find tomorrow a conflicting mish-mosh of emotions. We have elected a new pastor, surely a wonderful thing to rejoice and sing about. He seems to fit our congregational family in so many ways it's hard to believe it will be his first Sunday preaching as the officiant, officially here! But this Sunday one of my best friends will not be here, nor will he ever be again. His presence, his laughter, his hugs, his annoying way of arguing to make you see the "other side" of something that you were convinced HAD no other side--he's gone. And please, don't give me that "he's in a better place now" line. I have heard that for almost a year now. It doesn't make me miss him any less. It doesn't make me feel better, so can you not say it, please? The hollow place in my heart is beginning to mend, but it's not filled yet, its still bruised. And lighting a candle in his memory will be hard to do. My other friend, won't be there either. My Scripture Study partner, my "we can fix anything" guy. Although he was not as close to me as my other friend, there was still a place for him in our Adult class to argue, compare notes and marvel at the world the Lord has made. That candle will be hard too. As will the candle for my husband's two aunts and uncle and all those other people who have gone on and left me standing here with hot wax on my hands and tears in my eyes. It will be a hard time tomorrow folks. But we have a new Pastor who will lead us to the next tomorrows. And so it's not all bad. Nope, not all.